Share your fears to connect with others
Why vulnerability is strength
My colleague walked on the stage and said “Let’s talk about fears”.
We were at a company retreat and every one of the roughly twenty people in the room was about to give a lightning talk on a topic of their choice. My feet shuffled on the floor in anticipation, and my hands were cold and sweaty. I was nervously waiting for my own turn to present.
Most people talked about a topic related to health, productivity, or hobbies – me included.
But not him.
Instead, he told us what he was afraid of.
Among his fears were approaching beautiful strangers on the train, or being rejected at work.
He closed by saying quietly: “I fear that someone here will find out that I was fired at my last job.”
🤯🤯🤯
My feet stopped shuffling, and my hands tightened around my chair. The whole room fell silent. A big wave of warmth spread through my body while his words sank in. Deeply moved, we all applauded.
This memory remains extremely vivid in my mind because of the strong emotional impact this had on me. It didn’t matter that he was once fired (it happens, I suppose). But by sharing this with us, he made himself very vulnerable and showed us that he trusted us. It was a powerful experience.
After his talk, the whole atmosphere had profoundly changed. Later during the weekend, many other people chose to make themselves vulnerable too by sharing something deeply personal.
I still often think about that day, because it showed me that being vulnerable isn’t a weakness. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.
After the event, I told this story to some of my friends, and then shared my fears with them. This was exceptionally hard. Because like most people, I’ve buried my fears very deep – so no one could see them.
So let me share with you one of the fears I currently have. I worry that I’m doing Mental Garden in vain and it isn’t helpful – that you read those emails but don’t use it to reflect.
Hopefully that’s not the case. Like always, I’ve added a few questions below to get started explore your vulnerabilities. Make sure to share your insights (and fears) with someone close to you.
💡 Reflecting on Vulnerability
(Like always, you can download the Notion template of this issue of Grow Your Mind to take structured notes.)
How comfortable are you expressing vulnerability?
Can you recall a moment where you made yourself vulnerable? How often do you do that, and with whom? Can you think of any examples in your own life where being vulnerable led to positive outcomes or strengthened your relationships with others?
What are some fears, insecurities, or vulnerabilities that you have but haven't shared with others?
Why haven’t you shared them yet? How might sharing them with someone you trust impact your relationship with them and with yourself?
How can you support and encourage others to be vulnerable without pressuring them or making them feel uncomfortable?
What are some ways you can create safe spaces for vulnerability in your personal and professional relationships? How can you balance the benefits of vulnerability with the need to protect yourself and your emotions?
🙏 Thanks!
I hope you take Chris' message to heart and try to make yourself vulnerable to those around you. Thanks for being part of Mental Garden!
With gratitude and until next time,
Marc
PS: Do you know someone who could benefit from receiving Mental Garden? Forward them this email or send them this link: mental.garden/signup.