Instead of trying to win, try not to lose
Or: The Ultimate Strategy for Becoming Good at Table Tennis
I have one of the best tactics for succeeding in table tennis: Instead of trying to win, I try not to lose.
This may seem like an obvious statement, but I don't think it is. There's something here that's easy to overlook.
Think about the last time you played table tennis. How many points did you win by making a really good shot? And how many points did you lose by making some kind of mistake? (e.g., by trying to make a good shot?)
In table tennis (and many other contexts), most points are won not by hitting a good shot, but by the opponent making a mistake.
So if your goal is to become a better table tennis player, focus your attention on avoiding mistakes, not on making good shots. Focus on being good at returning the ball safely, and then wait for your opponent to blunder.
Often the answer to “How can I be a better?” is “By sucking less.”
To me, this is a completely different way of looking at the world, a paradigm that is easy to miss. For example:
Instead of asking, "How can I be a better partner?" you could ask, "What does a bad partner do and how can I avoid doing that?"
Instead of the question, "What do successful people in my field do?" you could ask, "What do they not do?”
Rather than asking, "How can I improve my French?" you might ask, "Which mistakes do French language learners make and how can I avoid them?”
Knowing where you don't want to go is just as valuable as knowing where you do want to go. Studying the opposite of what you want may be the key to achieving our goals.
I'm not saying that you should never try to win, that you should never try to figure out how to improve. But often that question should come much later than figuring out how you currently suck.
So the next time you think about your goals, try approaching them from a different angle.
Don’t try to win, try not to lose.
💡 Reflecting on Trying Not To Lose
(Like always, you can download the Notion template to take structured notes.)
What questions are you currently pondering could you rethink using this idea?
Are there any problems or goals that you could apply this idea to?
How does the concept of "trying not to lose" apply to your life beyond table tennis?
You can think about different areas, such as your friends, family, love, relationship to self, work and career, learning/growth, physical health, mental health, money, and hobbies.
How can you incorporate this concept into your decision-making process and daily life?
What is your typical way of thinking about problems or goals, and how can you make thinking in the opposite direction a mental habit?
🙏 Thank you!
Thank you for reading and for being part of Mental Garden. As always, I sincerely hope you found this email useful.
The table tennis example at the beginning of this email wasn’t arbitrary. I lose to this tactic all the time, because at some point I just want to smash. that. ball.
But playing for fun vs. playing to win are two different modes, so I’ll probably continue doing that.
Have a great weekend. Maybe you’ve got some time to try out your new table tennis tactics?
With gratitude,
Marc